Finding My Life Purpose: An Exercise

Seven years ago I came across Mark Manson‘s Life Purpose Guide, an 11-page article with step-by-step instructions on how to write out one’s goals and find direction in life. How I stumbled upon it I cannot remember, but in the summer of 2013 I found myself writing out the biggest bucket list I had ever attempted: ideas and thoughts of all the things I would love to do before I die. Anything from getting married to singing on Broadway went on the list, no matter how unrealistic, trivial, big or small.

I don’t remember if I actually followed Manson’s guide exactly to determine my purpose in life, but what the exercise did do was help me begin a journey of figuring out what I wanted to do, how I wanted to live.

Many successful speakers, researchers, and coaches advise people to write lists to help with productivity and accomplishing tasks. Since I love to journal, it wasn’t a far stretch for me to begin my own system of list-making. Now, besides regular to-do lists I write for cleaning the house or grocery shopping, I have a running bucket list of certifications I want to obtain, places I’d like to visit, or other goals I’d like to accomplish. And over the years, that exercise of list-keeping has helped me grow as I find my sense of direction, purpose, personhood.

At first the idea seemed almost selfish – focusing on what I want. But in a way, writing out everything I want helped to get myself out of the way. If I got myself out on paper, I wasn’t stuck in my head and I was able to focus on living my best life. I could see clearly what was realistic or not, and I didn’t have to feel ashamed of my thoughts. I was able to create a roadmap of what to pursue and how to get there. And in so doing, I could create the clarity I needed to free myself up so I could be of service to others as well.

Awhile back I created a post that listed what I would do on an ideal day. It was a very basic list, but it gave me a starting point to help define what I enjoy and what I value. And if I know what I value, I know how to live.

My Blog Anniversary 2020

In January of 2013, I began this blog as a sophomore in college. I was having trouble deciding what to major in, and I began writing as a way to help me figure out what to do, to help me figure out myself.

At first I wrote often – almost every week. I wrote about things I enjoyed and things I wanted to learn more about. Things that confused me and things I longed for. I changed from declaring an undecided major to a bachelor of science in multimedia production, although I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with that. I chose a broad major in hopes by the time I graduated I would have it figured out, but graduation came and went and I still had no idea.

I continued to write, though less often. Writing was how I processed my thoughts, and in many ways it felt easier to write than it did to speak. I found that in the act of writing down what I’m thinking or struggling with, my process feels more complete. I don’t stumble over my words the way I do when I try to express myself verbally.

At the same time I wanted to maintain a healthy boundary on expressing vulnerability on the internet, so I kept hand-written journals and would save the less private thoughts for publishing online.

Throughout my journey I sought other ways of processing life: therapy, yoga, walking, and connecting with friends. Writing became just one of many tools, a supplement to help me create balance and to live more holistically.

These days I continue to write as a form of self-discipline. I’m still figuring out how to balance privacy without seeming sterile. If I do publish something online it’s usually with minimal details of events and people, and with a greater focus on reflections and emotional process. Countless times I’ve heard the advice “write what you know,” which often doesn’t leave me with much to write about other than myself. And so my journey continues.

“Harp Life” – My Social Media Image

Most of my harp life is pretty boring. I play a few weddings a year, and if I’m lucky I might even participate in a recording project or two. Lately I’ve been trying to “revamp” my online image, and it’s a strange journey to say the least.

Anyone who wants to market themselves as a business online knows the importance of consistency. Depending on the nature of the business and the platform on which it is being promoted, marketing professionals will recommend posting several times a week, if not per day. This will vary across platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, WordPress, etc. The fun part is I enjoy making online content look pretty. The funny part is my life is not as action-packed as I promote it to be. Yet promotions are important to keep oneself relevant, talked about, noticed.

Lately I have been focused on streamlining my image to promote myself as a harpist, and I am working to become more consistent with that across my social media platforms. When I first started this blog, it was in attempt to narrow down my decision on an undergrad major. If you read my older posts, you may see an evolution of my growth, but often I feel like my thoughts are all over the place. Ultimately I have kept this blog going because I enjoy writing about life and things I’m learning or am passionate about. But consistency has always been hard for me.

Still, my efforts are a work in progress, and I’m enjoying the progress I’m making this year.

photo by Sarah Cannavino

Setting an Intention with Technology

At the beginning of many yoga sessions you’ll hear the instructor prompt you to set an intention for the practice. It’s not typically a physical goal as much as a spiritual thought: “I am focused.” or “I am strong.” A few months ago I found myself needing to set an intention of a different sort: for my computer.

After a long and productive life, my laptop began to die. Slowly at first, but then with overwhelming acceleration until I decided it was time to get a new one. I needed several weeks to save up, so I would have to go without for awhile. And oh, did it refresh my appreciation for technology.

I still had my phone to check email and manage important tasks. In fact, I easily go a couple days without using my computer at all normally. But the luxury of having it available at all times was one that disappeared during those weeks.

What do I use my computer for? Often I much prefer a computer to compose emails and messages (excluding texts). I organize my thoughts better on a big screen with a keyboard having real keys. Occasionally I will edit videos to post on YouTube or create music in GarageBand or Logic. Of course I blog, and any general reading or research I do I prefer to do on a computer.

So for those unique weeks I found myself without this resource readily available. But it pushed me toward a new solution: the public library. While I love my library primarily for the books, I learned the value of checking out a laptop for an hour. With the precious time I had, I forced myself to create goals and focus on what I needed to do in that hour. I spent time responding to emails and Facebook messages. I read and wrote and researched. I even allowed myself some scroll time on Facebook. And it was glorious.

The time without my own computer felt new and different. I possess a deeper thankfulness for the one I do have now. And the focused time in the library reminded me to carry a similar intention with me in my day-to-day perspective.

Creating an Ideal Day

I often think of things I wish I could accomplish in a given day if I could only muster the motivation to do them. Sometimes they are even things I enjoy doing but haven’t developed the discipline for turning them into regular habits. Therefore, I have decided to list tasks I would love to accomplish in my ideal day:

Write in my blog/practice writing in general
Read 50 pages or so in any given book
Devote time to a yoga practice
Practice harp/work on reading music
Draw
Work on quilt or some craft project
Write to a friend
Create (bake) something in the kitchen
Practice singing
Clean/organize something around the house
Devote time to spiritual reflection/reading/prayer
Bask in sunshine

Last year I had made a list of goals (resolutions, perhaps) which I did not accomplish in 12 months time, other than reading 15 books and cleaning out my car (for I had to get rid of it). This year I want to focus on furthering my self care routines. Since one of the most common New Year’s resolutions this year is to “become a better person,” which is ridiculously vague, I have decided to create my own goals to strive for and grow into.

My list above is not one I can realistically expect to complete daily; however, it helps to outline my ideal day. Because of this, I have something tangible to work toward in making every day an ideal day, whether I complete the list or not.

My Journey to Minimalism

I follow a blog called The Minimalists, which has inspired me to want to live a simpler life. In general I try to be frugal, because having too much stuff overwhelms me, especially when that stuff accumulates into a disorganized mess.

I want to work even more toward living a minimalistic life – getting rid of unnecessary things, working toward living more purposefully and meaningfully. The Minimalists wrote a series of posts about their 21-day journey to minimalism, so I want to create my own series of posts documenting my journey to minimalism this summer. This will also force me to write more, which is something I’ve been wanting to do as well.

For a long time I’ve had a dream of one day being able to fit all my belongings – or at least all my clothes – in a single suitcase so that I could pack up and go anywhere at a moment’s notice if need be. I do not intend to reach that goal this summer, but I do intend to downsize. Downsize the stuff, downsize the stress. I hope that by coming with me on my journey, maybe you will be inspired to work toward a more meaningful life as well, whatever that may look like for you.

Read to Write

I’m taking a writing class in which our primary text is the New Yorker magazine. I had never read it before, and while I do not always keep up with reading every article, I am fascinated by the content. Every week is different; you don’t know what you’ll find. Even if my opinion differs from that of the authors’, I can still find something interesting about the articles I read.

Then it hit me. In recent posts, I’ve mentioned my difficulty for finding inspiration for topics to write about. But when I began reading the New Yorker, I realized that one thing I was missing was the act of reading. Reading engages the brain, broadens one’s knowledge, and offers new perspectives on a given topic. In my excitement to write, I have forgotten to read.

In order to be a good writer, I think it is imperative to learn to be a good reader as well. That’s not to say I need to become the bookworm I was as a child. But if I can exercise my brain more by reading, maybe that will help my mind generate thoughts and opinions that I can translate into writing.

At least, that’s the hope.