Tag: development

Synthesize

As a former keyboard player on the church worship team during high school, the word synthesize brings to mind synthesizer, a collection of various electronic sounds possible at the touch of my fingertips on the Roland instrument. Anything from a jazz organ to a grand piano to an ethereal soundscape, my hands were busy on Sunday mornings as I filled the spaces of people’s auditory experience with chords that would accompany their singing of praise songs in the worship service. Together with my fellow musicians, we created something powerful, something beautiful.

Now the word takes on a different tone for me, having just completed an academic course on entrepreneurial mindset, but it might as well have been a course on how to think critically. The professor had laid out clear guidelines on how to engage in the discussion boards: build on each other’s posts to further the discussion, reference the texts you read, don’t just summarize but synthesize the ideas. This exercise in engaging thoughtfully with my classmates (along with specific feedback from the professor on how to improve discussion techniques) led to a rich educational experience in not just how to have productive discussions, but how to think better. How does the text tie in with the points the discussant is making? How does that build on the concepts we learned last week? What additional questions does this bring up? It almost didn’t matter what the discussion topic was about, because the skillset we were cultivating was one we could carry into everyday life.

Like a synthesizer keyboard that helps the band blend to create beautiful music, so the ability to synthesize ideas brings people together in harmony. Business coach Jadah Sellner is known to have said, “There are no unique messages, only unique messengers.” And yet it’s the uniqueness of those messengers that allow the important messages of life to land for those who receive them. A musical scale has a finite number of pitches, and yet there are countless songs that have been written using those same pitches over and over again in unique ways. There are a finite number of musical instruments, but the auditory textures those instruments bring, both individually and collectively, create countless sound experiences for the listener. Likewise there are common principles, nuggets of wisdom, tropes and archetypes repeated across history, and yet it’s the ability of the messengers to recognize the patterns and communicate those patterns to others that makes it feel as if the receiver is hearing good news for the first time. When we learn how to synthesize ideas, to tie concepts together, to integrate our knowledge and experience with what we learn, we bring a freshness to the patterns around us, making new connections where there were none before.

In a recent conversation about declining literacy rates across the U.S., it was pointed out to me that literacy doesn’t just mean the ability to read words, it’s the ability to comprehend information being conveyed as well as integrate that information to better navigate the world. Integration is how we make connections; the better we understand, the better we communicate and vice versa. If we can make connections between ideas, we can better make connections among people. And this connectedness is what allows humans to flourish; it’s what makes the music of life.

Now that the academic course is over, I find myself craving more discussions, more ways to ideate, to connect, to make that music. I often find solace in the pages of a book, reading the words of people much more knowledgable than I on various subjects. But less often do I discuss what I read with others, applying that knowledge to my own life. It’s as if the creative cycle is truncated sometimes. A book really isn’t complete upon the turning of the final page; a book is complete when you’ve shared the message with another. And many books on my shelves remain incomplete.

So now I ask myself where and what to synthesize next. What ideas are beckoning to be heard? What connections are waiting to be made, if only I would reach out and facilitate them? A Roland keyboard makes no sound unless I’m willing to place my hands on the keys. A book touches no lives if I cannot turn the page. The process takes practice, but so do all good things. Shall we make music together?

Reflection: My Driving Force

I had a conversation recently with someone during which I was asked what motivates or drives me. I appreciated that question because it prompted me to pause and ponder what I truly value in life. It reminds me a little bit of Simon Sinek’s message to “find your why.”

What drives me . . . I think if I had to boil everything down to the most concentrated essence I like to think it’s love. For myself, for the world, for the Divine. I didn’t always used to feel that way, but as I’ve grown a a person, I’ve realized life is too precious and rich to spend it being angry or despondent. Not that those things are wrong, but I don’t need to be motivated by them. And life seems much fuller this way.

It’s easy for me to forget that connection with Divine love is my lifeline, but as long as I am tapping into those abundant stores of love, I will be okay.

Finding My Life Purpose: An Exercise

Seven years ago I came across Mark Manson‘s Life Purpose Guide, an 11-page article with step-by-step instructions on how to write out one’s goals and find direction in life. How I stumbled upon it I cannot remember, but in the summer of 2013 I found myself writing out the biggest bucket list I had ever attempted: ideas and thoughts of all the things I would love to do before I die. Anything from getting married to singing on Broadway went on the list, no matter how unrealistic, trivial, big or small.

I don’t remember if I actually followed Manson’s guide exactly to determine my purpose in life, but what the exercise did do was help me begin a journey of figuring out what I wanted to do, how I wanted to live.

Many successful speakers, researchers, and coaches advise people to write lists to help with productivity and accomplishing tasks. Since I love to journal, it wasn’t a far stretch for me to begin my own system of list-making. Now, besides regular to-do lists I write for cleaning the house or grocery shopping, I have a running bucket list of certifications I want to obtain, places I’d like to visit, or other goals I’d like to accomplish. And over the years, that exercise of list-keeping has helped me grow as I find my sense of direction, purpose, personhood.

At first the idea seemed almost selfish – focusing on what I want. But in a way, writing out everything I want helped to get myself out of the way. If I got myself out on paper, I wasn’t stuck in my head and I was able to focus on living my best life. I could see clearly what was realistic or not, and I didn’t have to feel ashamed of my thoughts. I was able to create a roadmap of what to pursue and how to get there. And in so doing, I could create the clarity I needed to free myself up so I could be of service to others as well.

Awhile back I created a post that listed what I would do on an ideal day. It was a very basic list, but it gave me a starting point to help define what I enjoy and what I value. And if I know what I value, I know how to live.

The Passion Conversation, Continued

I discovered a few years ago the idea of cultivating a passion instead of finding it. The article on the Minimalists website explaining this idea brought validation to the struggle I felt so strongly in college to find something I was passionate about so I could be like my peers. During one lecture in college the speaker even asked, “What are you willing to lose sleep over?” as an exercise to determine what we get excited – or passionate – about. But the silent answer I came up with was that I’m not willing to lose sleep over anything because sleep is important. It’s important to live a balanced, healthy life.

And so my journey of personal growth developed over the years. I still love sleep every bit as much as I did in college, and I become vexed if I can’t have my sleep. As I have explored in many of my previous posts, I have many interests and many things I love to learn about. However, I only love to explore them if I can do so in a healthy way.

As I’ve grown, I’ve realized I do indeed have passion within my being, just not a traditional, 21st-century type passion. My passion is not for a particular career or cause, but for life itself.

Living Without A Passion; A Yoga Practice

These are some thoughts I began to write a couple years ago. I have often felt insecure that I didn’t feel passionate toward a particular career or cause like many of my peers did. This is a snippet of my mental process.

Reflections from February 2018

I bow my head, palms together in a prayer-like position. Close my eyes; breathe. I do not feel a particular passion toward anything.

I reach my hands up to the sky – feel a gentle pull in my muscles as my body awakens. I do not have a dream job, only varied interests.

I touch my toes; my head pulled down by gravity. I accept what is. I have a bucket list of things I’d like to try, but more importantly I just want to be.

Weight shifts onto my hands as my feet shoot back to land in a plank. I am strong; I work hard. I pay my bills and reduce debt. I am learning to purge my possessions to live more simply.

Lower onto the belly. I enjoy cleanliness and wellness. I like simplicity and natural products. I diffuse essential oils and buy bamboo toothbrushes. Arch my back, feel the stretch in my throat. I enjoy animals and nature.

I raise my body up until I’m in an inverted “V” shape – my hands and feet on the ground with my hips toward the sky. I’ve often wondered if something was wrong with me because I don’t feel a passion toward a singular career. I just want to live a balanced life. I breathe in, breathe out. I let go of my insecurities.

I walk my feet up to my hands and slowly rise to standing again. I long for more in life, but I am also learning to become one with the present.

My Blog Anniversary 2020

In January of 2013, I began this blog as a sophomore in college. I was having trouble deciding what to major in, and I began writing as a way to help me figure out what to do, to help me figure out myself.

At first I wrote often – almost every week.  I wrote about things I enjoyed and things I wanted to learn more about. Things that confused me and things I longed for. I changed from declaring an undecided major to a bachelor of science in multimedia production, although I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with that. I chose a broad major in hopes by the time I graduated I would have it figured out, but graduation came and went and I still had no idea.

I continued to write, though less often. Writing was how I processed my thoughts, and in many ways it felt easier to write than it did to speak. I found that in the act of writing down what I’m thinking or struggling with, my process feels more complete. I don’t stumble over my words the way I do when I try to express myself verbally.

At the same time I wanted to maintain a healthy boundary on expressing vulnerability on the internet, so I kept hand-written journals and would save the less private thoughts for publishing online.

Throughout my journey I sought other ways of processing life: therapy, yoga, walking, and connecting with friends. Writing became just one of many tools, a supplement to help me create balance and to live more holistically.

These days I continue to write as a form of self-discipline. I’m still figuring out how to balance privacy without seeming sterile. If I do publish something online it’s usually with minimal details of events and people, and with a greater focus on reflections and emotional process. Countless times I’ve heard the advice “write what you know,” which often doesn’t leave me with much to write about other than myself. And so my journey continues.

Snapshot: My Lovely Saturday Night

“I’ll be taking wonderful care of you tonight,” my waiter said as he opened his notepad and readied his pen. My order was simple: water, lobster bisque, and biscuits. He dashed off to the kitchen, his feet almost as quick as his speech.

Alone with my thoughts, I took in my surroundings: the soft thump, thump, thump of the base drum on the radio, the low lighting creating an air of privacy, the Canadian man sitting behind me talking about his trip to Florida. A baby cried in an adjacent room. Nearby, some servers gathered around one of the cash registers to share a joke. I wondered if anyone would find it strange for a woman to eat dinner alone in a restaurant, but it didn’t seem to matter.

Wearing my new (to me) sweater and sporting a fresh haircut, I figured tonight was as much a night as any to celebrate. It had been awhile since I’d taken myself “out on a date,” and the gift card I had received gave me the perfect opportunity to do so. I would not look at my phone tonight. Instead, I savored the environment – the mainstream, commercialized bistro I had learned to love from childhood – and drew comfort from its familiarity. I basked in gratefulness for the beauty of these moments, moments I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

I had lost sight of something. Of myself. I had forgotten how nice it felt to do something special – by myself. Here, now, I could be fully present, and present I was – well, at least until I realized I had almost finished my soup. It was so good I nearly forgot to enjoy it. The bisque tasted like the sea and like a warm hug all at once, and the cheesy, buttery biscuits melted in my mouth.

I thought about how I had no one to talk to there, but I didn’t mind. My soul was content to rest and reflect and simply be, without having to focus on conversation. Sometimes loneliness is a beautiful thing.

The waiter gave me a small bag to pack up the extra biscuits; I gave him an extra tip for his sweet demeanor. My spirit was overflowing with joy from being fully alive and fully myself. It really was a quick supper – I was in and out in under and hour – but my heart was full. And so was my belly.

My Money-Awareness Tricks

Everyone’s financial situation is different. These are some things I do as part of being aware of my spending and developing responsibility.

  • Save $2. Don’t use the dryer unless absolutely necessary.

    I don’t own a washer or a dryer, so sometimes I will use public laundry facilities. However, it’s even better when you have friends who will let you borrow their washers and dryers. If you have enough friends who have their own, you can rotate whose you borrow so it won’t be an issue. Plus they smell much better than the smoky public ones.

  • Use amazonsmile.com. Donate to charity when you shop.

    Not really a money-saving trick, but something good to do.

  • Have multiple savings accounts like a student account.

    I opened accounts at a new bank when I began college. I had one checking and one savings. The savings account was one I couldn’t withdraw from unless I went to the bank personally, simply because it was a student savings account. After graduating, I still kept that account open while creating another savings account without the student status. Having the two savings accounts has helped me because the student one is “locked up” until I physically go in and permit the withdrawal of money. It creates another layer of conscientiousness about where and how I’m using money.

  • Use a budgeting app like Mint.

  • Make a list of household items you want to buy – underwear, trash can, Windex…

    Break up the list to small monthly purchases. I once set aside $12 to purchase a really nice wastebasket. Two years later I still have it and love it.

  • Buy name brand jeans at Goodwill.

  • Host a clothing swap.

    One of my friends did this: Get a group of friends together for a “party” where everyone brings unwanted clothing items. You basically get to go shopping in your living room, and whatever is left over goes to Goodwill.

  • Christmas/birthday money goes toward debt.

  • Tax return goes toward emergency purchases or debt.

  • “Fun money” goes toward things like trying new shampoo or lotion.

    I used to not buy lotion because it seems frivolous to me. I still rarely buy it, but when I do it is a luxury, and I try to get a different kind of lotion every time so it seems new and exciting.

  • Host potlucks

    Great for spending time with friends and eating a full meal for a low cost.

  • Create wish lists for different stores; then you know how to break down gift cards when you receive them.

  • Don’t buy anything you can borrow from the library.

  • Invest in a microwave.

  • Save on heat; buy microwaveable body wrap.

    In the cold times I heat it up and put it under the covers at the foot of my bed. It helps to keep me warm so I can fall asleep.

  • Buy cheap disposable razors; spend an average of $4 per month.

    Not the most environmentally friendly option, but I hear of other people spending up to $10 per month on razor blades. If I can make a razor last the whole month before it gets dull or icky, then it’s really only like spending $2 per month.