Social Life After College

I’ve often reflected on humans’ basic need for community, and tried to brainstorm how I can best develop my own community of people around me.

I hear it’s easier to make friends in college than post-college because you’re going to class every day with people you have things in common with, be it age, major, etc. I can see truth in this. Personally, though, I felt pretty lonely in college because there were very few people I felt I could really connect with. Yes, several friendships I have today are ones I cultivated in college, but most of them are with people I didn’t even share classes with.

In the south where I live, the “thing” to do as an adult is join a small group or Bible study. I am definitely a fan of being active in one’s faith as well as finding like-minded people. Many times, however, a Bible study is not where one feels they can connect with people on their most personal level. I have experienced social relationships from work, game nights, or other contexts where I can reveal different sides of myself to different people. Not in the sense of being deceptive, but in the sense of being a human with multiple dimensions.

The challenge is finding a community of people where you can be your most authentic self. And that evolves over time, especially during big changes such as a job transition, moving to a different location, etc. It’s always frustrating to be in a transition time of any sort. Because transitions can coincide with a lack of depth. And lack of depth is isolating.

Creating an Ideal Day

I often think of things I wish I could accomplish in a given day if I could only muster the motivation to do them. Sometimes they are even things I enjoy doing but haven’t developed the discipline for turning them into regular habits. Therefore, I have decided to list tasks I would love to accomplish in my ideal day:

Write in my blog/practice writing in general
Read 50 pages or so in any given book
Devote time to a yoga practice
Practice harp/work on reading music
Draw
Work on quilt or some craft project
Write to a friend
Create (bake) something in the kitchen
Practice singing
Clean/organize something around the house
Devote time to spiritual reflection/reading/prayer
Bask in sunshine

Last year I had made a list of goals (resolutions, perhaps) which I did not accomplish in 12 months time, other than reading 15 books and cleaning out my car (for I had to get rid of it). This year I want to focus on furthering my self care routines. Since one of the most common New Year’s resolutions this year is to “become a better person,” which is ridiculously vague, I have decided to create my own goals to strive for and grow into.

My list above is not one I can realistically expect to complete daily; however, it helps to outline my ideal day. Because of this, I have something tangible to work toward in making every day an ideal day, whether I complete the list or not.

Exposed Soul

The summer is coming to an end, but it will still be awhile before cooler weather sets in. I remember last summer feeling like I was seeing a lot of posts about modesty, but this summer I don’t recall seeing as many.

This is not going to be another post on how women should/should not cover up; there are plenty of those on the internet. What this is about is some thoughts I have on clothing from a slightly different perspective.

I wish we could all walk around naked without being judged, but that is not socially or legally acceptable in 2015. But I wonder if our focus should be less on exposed skin and more on an exposed soul.

Let me explain. Any form of exposure requires a degree of vulnerability. Some people are completely comfortable showing skin, while others are more comfortable sharing personal stories or emotional experiences. Some are fine with both or neither. Could the two be related? Could it be that the more skin I expose, the less comfortable I feel revealing my soul? Or is it that the more I cover up, the more insecure I am about how people would react if they knew the true me?

Even in the famous story of Adam and Eve, the two of them walked around naked and were completely vulnerable in all aspects. After the Fall, they covered up, not only physically, but perhaps emotionally as well.

I tend to show more skin than many of my conservative friends may be comfortable with, so I am not going to shun you based on how much or how little you cover up. What interests me more is the core of a human being: who she really is beneath the masks of social constraints. What are you struggling with that you’re afraid to tell anyone? What are you covering up that is keeping you from being healthy? That is what matters to me.

Quirky Christendom

Christianity is a weird religion. Traditionally speaking, you meet up with a group of people you don’t know on a Sunday morning, and you listen to someone speak. You sing a few songs, and then you leave. If you’re lucky, you might have a Bible study to go to during the week. But that’s about it. I guess what’s weird to me is that within Christianity, people seem to focus only on their spiritual health and not much else.

I’m thinking in contrast to other religions in which physical health, diet, and relationships are more of the focus. For example, when you think of certain Eastern religions, you may think of yoga, meditation, or certain dietary restrictions. While the main thing that sets Christianity apart from other religions is that it’s not a performance-based religion, sometimes I wonder if the Christian Church wouldn’t benefit from taking one’s overall well-being into consideration. The beauty of Christianity is that everyone is different, yes, and everyone is in a different point in their journeys. While spiritual health is very important, there are more dimensions of wellness than just spirituality.

You also have physical, emotional, financial, social, and environmental health. When one of these elements suffers, it can affect one’s overall well-being. I’m not saying that the Church should be responsible for everyone’s health in all aspects of life, but I think it would be cool if, when people heard the word “Christian,” they would think, “Oh yeah, Christians are some of the healthiest people I know.”

Then again, you don’t go the a bank in hopes they can help you with a broken arm, and you don’t go to a hospital to get a loan. So I guess these dimensions of wellness should be separate, it just seems strange to me.

I guess what I’m saying is, I want more people in general to care about their overall well-being, because I know how difficult it can be to do that. I’m still learning how to take care of myself in the most basic of ways, and I don’t really have anyone to teach me what a healthy adult is supposed to look like.

These are my thoughts for the day, so thanks for reading my tirade.