Why Wholesome Reading Is Essential to Wellness

Some reflections on the importance and benefits of reading books:

It facilitates a spirit of humility
Picking up a book to read with an open mind says, “I have something to learn from this.” Whether it be light-hearted fiction or dense philosophy, I am broadening my horizons by inviting someone else’s perspective into my consciousness.

It creates a more well-rounded perspective of the world
Reading works written by others helps me see the world in a new light. It takes me out of my bubble and helps me connect with others in ways I wouldn’t have otherwise. Because of this, it helps me to understand why others think differently than I do, and it takes me outside of my own worldview to discover that there are many ways of looking at the world.

It keeps the brain young
The development of any skill takes practice, and critical thinking is no exception. The more I exercise my brain through reading, the better and longer it continues to function even as I age. To say I have already learned all I can from life would be closing the door to growth and enrichment.

That said, here are a few books I have read this year:

The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel Van Der Kolk

Brilliant read, though a little overwhelming due to memories of trauma in my own life it brings up. Van der Kolk is one of the leading researchers who has helped make psychology what it is today, and reading about his work is fascinating.

Trauma-Sensitive Yoga in Therapy – David Emerson

Easy to understand approach to addressing complex trauma and its effects on the body. A quick read but very helpful for both self body awareness as well as helping others with their body awareness.

Honoring the Body – Stephanie Paulsell

A beautiful read that gives a spiritual perspective of the human body.

I also have to say I’m a fan of the GoodReads app, which helps me keep track of books I’ve read and books I want to read – you should check it out! Happy reading 🙂

15 Books Women Should Read

I came across a list entitled “25 Books Every Girl Should Read Before She Turns 25.” I am now rushing to read them all because my birthday is in just a few weeks. Upon looking over the list, I realized a lot of the books are novels. I have nothing against novels; in fact, I should probably read more. However, I’m going through a stage now where nonfiction is more interesting to me. Because a person’s twenties are such a crucial decade to one’s development and growth, I find it important to read material that aides in that.

As such, I have decided to make a list of books I have read that have been helpful in my journey of self-discovery (yes, some of them are even novels). They may not be for everyone, as they are specific to my needs and beliefs, but perhaps you will find one or two that are helpful to you. Feel free to add more suggestions in the comments below.

Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

If you’re not big into reading, don’t start with this one. It’s amazing, but it also took me months to read. But it’s worth it! It explains the wisdom of ancient tales and the lessons we can learn from them. It travels deep into the female psyche, teaching women to unlock their inner wisdom.
Spider Woman’s Web by Susan Hazen-Hammond

I think of this one as almost a simpler version of Women Who Run With the Wolves. A swift read, but a meaningful one. It also explores old tales, but specifically focusing on those of Native American tradition. At the end of each chapter are questions beckoning readers to dig deep within themselves, exploring their past and embracing their present.
Released from Shame by Sandra D. Wilson

This is a fantastic book for anyone struggling with relentless shame, low self-worth, doubt, etc. Even if this doesn’t describe you, it opens a window of understanding toward those it does describe. Again, it challenges the reader to look inward for growth and self-awareness.
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? by Karyl McBride

Think of this book as a very specific version of Released from Shame. It peers into rocky relationships between mothers and daughters, and it reveals how influential the mother-daughter relationship is in women’s lives. Even if you have/had a great relationship with your mother, this can be helpful in accessing your own inner mother to yourself as well as growing as a mother to your children.
The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler

Some people love it, some people don’t. But it certainly does offer interesting perspectives on the female genitalia.
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

The author emphasizes the importance of not sacrificing that which is good and healthy in the name of being “spiritual.” It is written from a Christian perspective, but the points made are excellent for those of any spiritual background. Emotional health is an important thing, and good spirituality should enhance that, not sabotage it.
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

A novel about a young, Native American man and his journey of transferring schools and the experiences that come with it. I have almost no grounds to relate to this character, but the author did a fantastic job of placing me in the character’s shoes to understand his thoughts and feelings. It also gave me a clearer perspective of modern Native American culture.
The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

I was required to read this book for a writing class I took, but I learned a lot about societal trends and how little things can become epidemics. An example that immediately comes to mind is how Justin Bieber became so popular almost overnight. Gladwell doesn’t specifically mention Justin Bieber, but that’s kinda of the idea of what he talks about.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

A coming of age novel about a young man following his dream. I normally hate the idea of “following your dreams,” (a topic for a different post), but I’d say this story is far from cheesy.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon

A novel I couldn’t put down, giving me the perspective of one whose life is very different from mine, and also increasing my empathy and understanding for others.
A Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas

Written by a woman whose husband was forever changed by a terrible accident, A Three Dog Life chronicles her journey of creating a new normal. My comments cannot do this books justice. But I will say that it was enriching for me to read because it helped me step outside my personal bubble to learn about someone who is in a different stage of life from me.
The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien

I found an deepening of two things as a result of having reading this book: my understanding of those involved in/affected by the Vietnam War, and my respect for said people.
Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller

The subtitle of this book is “Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality.” Written by a former atheist, the author is not trying to shove an ideology down your throat. He’s simply writing about his experience, which I loved reading about. Great for those exploring their own spirituality.
A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller

Psalm 23 is a commonly quoted poem at funerals, but that wasn’t necessarily what the original author had in mind when he wrote it. This book is written by a shepherd who knows the ins and outs of the daily life of sheep, and it will increase your appreciation for the shepherd’s psalm.
Sexual Fluidity by Lisa Diamond

I don’t have a lot of well-developed thoughts on this book because I’m still reading it. However, I am learning more about female sexuality, and it’s fascinating.

2016 Reading Challenge

If you know me well, you know I love to read. That’s why when I found out about the Goodreads app, I was all over it. One of its features is the ability to set annual challenges for yourself to read a certain number of books. While I wouldn’t say I read large amounts at a time, I do try to be consistent in taking time to read regularly. This year I resolved to read 15 books. Here is some of what I’ve read so far:

The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories
A collection of writings by a woman who died young, it was both thought-provoking and entertaining. Since the essays and stories were relatively short, it made for a quick, easy read. Sometimes I would have to pause at the end of a story to process what I had just read, and I pondered with awe how this girl came up with so many creative ideas and put them onto paper so beautifully.

Released from Shame: Moving Beyond the Pain of the Past
I bought this book for under a dollar, and I loved it. Right now I’m going through a phase of being fascinated by nonfiction that focuses on psychology, emotional health, personal growth, etc. This definitely beckons you to face the darkness of your past, or it teaches you how to better relate to those who have had a challenging past. While full of sadness, it also offers hope and healing to weary souls.

Women Who Run with the Wolves
This one took me months to read. I started it sometime last year and didn’t finish it until just a couple months ago. But I mean that in a good way. This was a long, dense, but amazing read. It explores ancient folklore and reveals psychological lessons we can learn from various stories. Written primarily for a female audience, it challenges women to embrace their femininity to the fullest. If you decide to read this book, take your time and savor it. Don’t pressure yourself to rush through it or it may become overwhelming.

Sunny Side Up
I guess this is technically a graphic novel. I haven’t read much in this genre, but I really enjoyed it. I was able to breeze through it in a day, and it provided somewhat of a mental break after the other longer books I had been reading. I actually was able to get a galley free from a library sale. Set in the ’70s, the story follows a girl who travels to Florida for summer vacation. It was seemingly light-hearted at first, but I soon realized it included a more somber twist. Thought-provoking, yet tender as well.

Dreamtreaders
The first book in the Dreamtreaders’ series, this adventure novel explores the world beyond waking reality. It brings the dream world to life in a way I hadn’t thought about before. This was a great book to read before my bedtime to help me wind down at the end of the day. It was exciting and fun, and I can’t wait to read the next book in the series.

Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality
Spirituality is another subject I love reading about. The author is irreverent but genuine, and he brings up some excellent points and questions about the Christian faith. The book follows his journey between his fundamentalist Christian upbringing and his explorations of less conservative, more “worldly” lifestyles. The author’s relatability and honesty about his doubts makes the Christian faith seem less intimidating. An enjoyable read that made me think.

I have other books that I’m reading or have read, but the above list is a handful of the ones that have really stuck with me. Share in the comments what you’re reading this year!

Sex, Fantasy, and Fifty Shades

Lately I’ve seen a lot of hype about the film rendition of Fifty Shades of Grey across the internet. Mostly it’s been a lot of protesting about how the story promotes sexual abuse and dominance. Personally I’m not really interested in the books or the movie, so my critique of the story would be limited at best. But I’m not here to write a critique – there are plenty already out there. I’m here to tell you some of my thoughts based on what I’ve observed about this latest uproar.

My concern lies in the conversations I read about how it’s a shame that young people today are indulging in stories like these and will not have a firm understanding of what true love or a satisfying sex life looks like. Before I continue, let me say that in no way do I condone sexual abuse, and I certainly hope that this post doesn’t come across that way. What I am saying is that we shouldn’t wait for stories like Fifty Shades to go viral before we start talking about how sex should be.

Upon looking up the author, I found a quote of hers that said that this story was essentially her sexual fantasies, which, in my opinion, puts a different perspective on how I view the story. While a woman may not publicly admit it, I think there exists in many women’s minds fantasies that are not intended to be played out in real life, be they sex with a stranger, being forcefully tied down, etc. Thoughts and emotions that allow the person to feel as though they’re not completely in control (while in reality they still are) help to increase the tension of the moment, making it more exciting and therefore easier to climax. When you put those fantasies on a screen, however, they turn into something seen as dominating and abusive, because it’s not meant to make sense in real life (hence why it’s a fantasy).

For those of you who don’t want your children to see this movie because you want to explain to them how beautiful true love and healthy sex is, that’s great. The problem is, not everyone wants to have that conversation, especially, I find, those of the more conservative mindsets. If you can’t even say the word sex without giggling or blushing, you’re probably not the first person I’m going to go to for advice in the matter. That’s why the majority of my sex ed came from Wikipedia, Urban Dictionary, and Game of Thrones. Google didn’t blush. It didn’t pause in an awkward silence thinking, “oh crap, I have to have this conversation with her.” It simply gave me the answers I was looking for and then some. And yes, some people did offer to talk about any questions I had. But I was so ignorant of my own body that I didn’t even know what questions to ask.

Maybe you giggle or smile because you have a great sex life. Maybe you’re remembering the night you had with your partner last week. But I can’t tell what you’re thinking. All I read is a change in your demeanor, which then makes me uncomfortable and feel that maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.

For those of you who wonder why anyone would want to sit through a movie like that in a dark theatre surrounded by people, maybe it’s because it feels like a safe place. Maybe there are a lot of confused or frustrated young people trying to understand their bodies and biological functions, but can’t find the answers they need because their elders are too embarrassed to talk about it. Or if they aren’t, the conversation is weighted with fear that somebody is going to fuck somebody into abomination. And so in a way it almost makes sense to me to want to escape to the theatre where I don’t have to be embarrassed for wondering about my body and maybe less-than-traditional ways of having sex.

Book Review: Phantom of the Opera

I have made it a goal to read more classics, both to be more well-rounded and so that I can say I’ve read them. One of the classics I read this summer was Phantom of the Opera.

Before I begin, I will say that this is not the most professional book review. I know what I like to read, and my “review” of a given book will be based on my reading preferences. Therefore, just because I liked a book does not mean it is “good,” neither is a book necessarily “bad” if I disliked it.

That being said, I did initially find POTO a little difficult to read, since it was written over a century ago, making the language style different from what I’m used to. It was not a mindless, easy read for me in the beginning; I had to engage with the text to understand what was going on. Perhaps another reason for this was that the first few chapters read more like a report than a story. After I was several chapters in, however, the author introduced more dialogue and action, which helped to make it more interesting.

Now for the plot. As I’m sure many people know the story already, I will not bore the reader with the details of the narrative. I had already seen the movie (starring Gerard Butler), which made the story easier to follow, since I had an idea of what to expect. Of course the details in the book were different from those of the movie, but the extra scenes and descriptions added a richness to the text that the movie simply does not have. Included in these extras would be the elaborate tunnels and passageways through the opera house (which we only get a glimpse of in the movie), Christine visiting the graveyard, the torture chamber, and the Phantom’s magic tricks. The details and descriptions in the text add a depth that could not possibly be addressed in the movie, yet give the reader a better understanding of the story.

Overall I did enjoy this book, even though it did require a little more mental muscle than I had used in awhile for recreational reading. I would definitely recommend it to someone who is interested in broadening their horizons in literature, but maybe not for the reader who is looking more for something quick and easy.